I don't know who Tom is, but he sure has an interesting take on the outcome of the election
By Tom Adkins
Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shuffling
along, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I’m virtually
euphoric. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not thrilled with America ’s
flirtation with neo socialism. But there’s a massive silver lining
in those magical clouds that lofted Barak Obama to the Presidency.
For today, without a shred of intellectually legitimate opposition,
I can loudly proclaim to America : The Era of White Guilt is over.
This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vas t majority
of white Americans didn’t give a fluff about skin color, and
enthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just
any black man. A very liberal black man who spent his early career
race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, and
actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Some
resume! Yet they made Barak Obama their leader. Therefore, as of
Nov 4th, 2008, white guilt is dead.
For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our
necks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s,
American liberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a
fork in the eye of black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide
to extort a socialist solution. But if a black man can become
President, exactly what significant barrier is left? The election
of Barak Obama absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal
white guilt. The dragon is hereby slain.
So today, I’m feeling a little “uppity,” if you will. From this day
forward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now
exactly ZERO. And it’s time to clean house. No more Reverend
Wright’s “God Damn America ,” Al Sharpton’s Church of Perpetual
Victimization , or Jesse Jackson’s rainbow racism. Cornell West?
You’re a fraud. Go home. All those “black studies” programs that
taught kids to hate whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want
that on the final.
Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up.
ACORN? Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black
separatists? Find another nation that offers better dreams. Go
ahead. I’m waiting.
Gangsta rappers? Start praising America . Begin with the Pledge of
Allegiance. And please…no more ebonics. Speak English, and who
knows where you might end up? Oh, yeah…pull up your pants. Your
underwear is showing. You look stupid.
To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America ? I’m
still waiting for the first black French President.
And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I’ve always
despised lazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black
people. You’re poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three
kids with three different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you
plop your Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin’ butt on the couch and
complain “Da Man is keepin’ me down,” allow me to inform you: Da
Man is now black. You have no excuses.
No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because
someone’s great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain
and misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, and
It’s time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon
the heap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife
swapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free
love and cop-killing. Careful…don’t trip on streaking. There ya go,
don’t be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It’s filthy.
In fact, Obama’s ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you
sell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black
wife went to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became
millionaires, bought a mansion, and got elected President? How
unfair is that??? Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama’s
spread-the-wealth campaign rendered itself moot by it's own
victory! America is officially a meritocracy. Obama’s election has
validated American conservatism!
So, listen carefully…Wham!!!
That’s the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of
white guilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered,
dirt shoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.
However, despite my glee, there’s apparently one small, rabid
bastion of American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for
Barak Obama. Hmmm. In a color-blind world, shouldn’t that be 50-50?
Tonight, every black person should ask forgiveness for their
apparent racism and prejudice towards white people. Maybe it’s time
to start spreading the guilt around.
Funnies worth reading!
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